Why

[audio https://audioboo.fm/boos/2114204-why.mp3]

 

I grit my teeth and bear it

My soul fucking bares it

The need for you extolls

And casts its costs upon

My god damned soul

 

I know you, the core of you

I see you, every inch

I hear you and I wince

At what you share

With those who could

Not care

Less

 

Lest you think

Less of me

I hold your heart

Within me

I care like

You don’t fucking know

I wish that you

Would just show

 

But whatever, right

There is no fight

I guess we just

Drift apart

No end, really

It’s not like you

Would say to me

“Don’t go

I need you

I want you

I’ll meet you”

 

You are too

Obsessed with you

To ever really

Let me in

To show even

An ounce of care

Like goddamn strangers did

So who am I

Who am I

To you

 

You must be getting

Sick of this

If you even care

You read

But at this point

I’m not through

With us

Cuz you

you

you

Were just

What I needed

 

And again

Damn me

I’m laying myself

Bare to thee

In hopes that you

Will what?

Come back to me?

Then what?

 

Go back to ignoring me

Go back to doing

Being

Only

You

Without a care for me

 

I never asked

Never would

You to change

How’s that good

But you failed to respect

And what’s worse

You neglect

Three long days

I waited

While my heart syncopated

You knew

You knew

And not a word

Came through

What was

A girl to think

 

Except we’re through

 

Every day

Every damn fucking day

I miss what we had

And yet I’m glad

For how can I be

With one who cannot be

There for a minute

There to care

There to show

He’s fucking there

 

Why the fuck

Why the fuck

Why the fuck

Should I goddamn fucking care

 

But I do

Cuz I love you

And I hate you

Not that it matters

Anymore

 

I’ll not beg

Not chase

Just release

You to the life

You wanted to lead

Without me

 

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One response to “Why

  • Anita

    Hey Viki, hope things are good with you. You seem to be going through a rough patch (i can kind of relate to your posts). If you want to talk let me know.

Lemme hear from you!

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