Testimonial

This day to day confessional
Admitting my every sin
But not remitting a one
Everything broken inside of me
Has lead me to this very moment
While I wish every hurt
Had never been done
How can I regret that I’m
Still alive

So many chances I’ve had to cut loose
To set myself free
To let myself fly
Off a bridge
Can’t I take pride in that
Doesn’t that say something good
That I’ve been strong enough
To manage to live

I’m tired of the back and forth
Of sharing and having that
Turned back on me
Someone always comes back for more
It is a bitter hurt
That my sense of self-worth
Is exactly what is belittled
Your weapons in this war
Are mine

But I can’t keep backing away
From the places I most
Want to stay
I know the time will come
When the tides have turned
And I’ll feel that crazy
Craving to run
And instead I’ll plant my feet
Grit my teeth
And let myself get burned
Again

Some fires are just flickers
Their tongues lick
But do not sear
Too quickly were they fanned
Too quickly will they die
So why do I
Still fear

I am incomplete and absolute
In all of my failings
I am resolute
Take me or leave me
Though the leaving would be preferred
Accept my infirmities
My dark side and hopeful smile
Else leave me deferred
I can’t bring myself to care
Just now.

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