Monthly Archives: February 2014

Timeless

A collection of micropoetry I wrote on Twitter, finally collected into one piece. Some additions, revisions, and corrections.

*********************

He was timeless
Strong and slightly severe
With the deepest, knowing eyes
At first glance, she knew
She was helpless

She was both dark and fair
Pale soft skin, smoldering hair
And a sorrow held within brown eyes
She caught his eye
He was ensnared

Her eyes met his
Both entranced
By one another
Both romanced
By each other
Two souls
Connected
Like this

To him she was the light
He was the light to her
Both shone onto each other
Into each other
Banishing the darkest night
As they fell
So did their shadows

They examined their fears
Soaked in their tears
Bathed with each other
In dark shared desires
Hungrily they fed the fires

While their pain they stroked
Their passions were evoked
In whispers and moans
And deep muffled groans
They lit up the world
They now shared

He and she
Held tightly
Sweet words exchanged
Lives rearranged
They fit and they bonded
Their love resounded

But even echoes fade

Burned too bright
In their endless night
Both left charred
And with new scars
Surprised by new seeping wounds
And fresh blood they’d wrung

They fought to rekindle
But love quickly dwindled
More strangers now
Than they’d been
When they’d met
Love so strong, now gone
They wept

Parting in tears
With newborn fears
Unsure of themselves
And their place
In the world
Now frightened
Of love unfurled

~FIN


Loved

Once

Once, I was loved like that.


Post

Gosh, I should post something. Been a few days.

Uhm.

Yeah, I got nuthin’.

Maybe later.


My Fucking Words

In all honesty, my heart is kinda broken tonight. I can’t even write. I want to tear up every word that spills from my fingers. Oh hell, I even hate my words tonight. I want to shred them, make THEM bleed for ME. Crush them, stomp them, punch them, kill every last fucking one. I want to slit the throats of my words tonight. Because they all betray me and leave me so bare, all my hurt showing. And I just want to bury that inside.

But my goddamn words won’t let me, angry little shits that they are. All they want to do is tell on me. That I’m in pain, that I’m angry. That I’m bitter and worthless and stupid and just fucking unlovable. That I hate and crave. That I want to die and live and fly and fall and lay beside you and just be… That my heart is jealous of what I’ll never have. Fuck, I’d cut off my fingers if that would make them stop!

I shouldn’t post this. I know I sound crazy. Well, fuck it. I am.

I know I’ll recover. A little more wary, a little more weary. And probably with all fingers intact. Maybe. But tonight, yes, I do want to scream, and sob, and dig my nails into anything and everything. I want to punch and stab and … Who am I kidding… I’ll get drunk and play video games, crying, till I fall asleep. That seems to be my fallback position.

I’ll try to drown out my words tonight. Tonight, they hate me, and I hate them back.


Desolation And Ruin

Plaster dust
shades of rust
timbers fallen down.
This is what I offer you.
No wonder that you frown.

I can’t give you gold or silver.
I truly own nothing of worth.
Even my love is broken.
Crumbled into the earth.

I’d offer you a desolate land
Where new life rarely springs forth
I’d offer you, whatever I have
But it won’t be enough, of course.

So away I go
Withdrawing hope
Welcoming the ache
I won’t ask
You to pay
For this painful mistake.

I won’t ask anything
For I have nothing to give.


Walk Away Broken Girl

Please hear
What I want to say, and fear
Please see
What I hide inside of me
Please touch
What hurts me so damn much
Please taste
What is running down my face
Please smell
What I do –
Fire, Brimstone, Hell.

I wish I could take you
Deep inside my mind
Point out all the cracks and flaws
The scars I cannot leave behind

I can’t say that I’m sorry
I’m sorry, but I can’t
I must think of myself now
My own freedom I grant

I wish you could have known me
I so wanted to know you
But I know I’m too broken
You can’t bear that too.

So I’ll pack the pieces I’ve let break
It’s a lonely road I must take
For love right now just can’t be.
I’m too much for you, you’re too much for me.


This Love Bullshit

I haven’t been making good choices where my heart is concerned. Sure, love and sex make for great poetry. The more complicated the relationship, the feelings, the better it sounds in rhyme. And when the pain hits, as it always will, there is nothing sweeter than writing it out. Oh, how we love to read that, amirite? But maybe I should stick with old memories of hurts, instead of making new ones.

Of course I can’t go into details about anything, because … well, I just can’t. But suffice to say I’m sick of the back and forth. I’m not blaming anyone but myself for the emotions I’m feeling. I know I am far too sensitive. I call myself weak constantly. Because of my anxiety issues, chiefly, but also when it comes to love. I love love. I love loving someone, giving to them what I have, what I can. And so I invest myself too quickly and too deeply, even when my head is screaming at me to stop. How often are any of us capable of listening to our heads when our hearts have already made up their mind?

This is one of the reasons I withdrew myself years ago. I couldn’t take the pain I inflicted upon myself with loving others. I don’t want to do that again, withdraw. But I have to be smarter. Cuz I am killing myself with this bullshit.


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