Running On Empty

It was a long day today, starting too early with a bit of a crisis.  One of my mom’s friends just, disappeared.  We’re hoping she’s just not answering her phone, having her husband cover for her.  Found out just today that this friend, Ruby – who has always been a blessing to my family – had to take a test recently to “qualify” for the job she’s been doing for over 20 years, and she failed.  Also, come to find out, last Friday she cleaned out her desk.  …  Ruby gives my mom a ride to work every morning, and when she didn’t show up this morning, mom called her cell – no answer and it’s set so you can’t leave a message – then called her home.  Her husband said she’d left like she always does.  Calling this afternoon, neither number answered.  Mom called me this morning in tears, and since we still haven’t heard anything, we just don’t know what to think.  It’s worrisome.  =/


I dunno.


Today was a fairly quiet day otherwise, but I started feeling really anxious as the night wore on.  And just super tired.  A friend texted, and we chatted and had fun, but I just felt so mentally and emotionally drained.  Tried to go to sleep early, but my body is just not conditioned for that, and this awful aching started back up as soon as I laid down.  This anxious, gnawing feeling of restlessness.  Hell, if I really wanted, I could walk down to the gas station, pick up a 6pack and drink myself to sleep.  But I don’t even want that.  I’m just so tired.




Btw, you’re right Pippa.  I do want to be needed.  Damnit..


Gonna try to get some sleep.  Maybe this will help.


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