Blog, blog blog blog, BLOG

Funny title, not so funny content.  Sorry for being misleading.

 

God, I’m just feeling horrid tonight.  Stupid, selfish, anxious, heart-broken, and so ironically, entirely alone!  lol  It makes me laugh, cuz I’m just such an ass, such an assHOLE.  Apparently I needed more ammo in the hating-myself campaign…

 

Ugh, blah.  I need a reboot.  A re-do, a mulligan, a Mario death – Hey, I’ve got another life!  …

 

I kinda want to be alone.  Like, completely.  An island in the middle of nowhere, on a planet of endless ocean.  If there’s no one around, there’s no one to hurt you, and no one to hurt.  No one to give you love, friendship.  Nothing to lose.

 

Fuck.  And if I don’t stop crying, right fucking now, I will wind up with swollen eyes tomorrow and then I’ll REALLY hate myself for crying.  lol

 

I so wish I could blame this emotional outburst on PMS…

 

On the bright side, I got my new lamp, and it’s perfect.  The drapes should be here on Tuesday, maybe Wednesday, and it’ll be awesome to watch TV without the glare, and I’m hoping they cut down on the drafts.  And yes, I’m housewifey.  I cook, I clean, I bake, I knit.  I’m a care-giver of sorts.  Because that’s all I have to offer!  I’m scared shitless of the outside world.  I’m weak, and pathetic, and maybe 100 years ago, I could just marry, and it’d be ok for me to stay at home and be housewifey.  But I don’t even want kids!  And what’s a housewife without kids……

 

God grant me a vacuum, a stove, an oven and a fucking martini…  A bucket of martinis…

 

If I post this, I’ll regret it like hell in the morning.  But then, why shouldn’t I post it?  Who does it hurt?  Who…  Fuck…

 

Abandon hope, all ye who enter here.  …  Here, there be monsters.

 

I am my own nightmare.  🙂

 

I’m being overly dramatic…  I’m sorry.  It’s fine.  I’m fine.  It’s just one night.

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